


Suffocating

by CasuallyScreaming



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Gender-Neutral MC, The main focus is Levi and Lucifer, The other brothers are just there at a few points, but also their relationship isn’t really the main focus, ily punk, this is a Levi and Luci being bros fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasuallyScreaming/pseuds/CasuallyScreaming
Summary: “I feel like...I knew how much everyone else liked MC, and I took them anyway. I thought that once we started...” Levi’s face turned red, and he shook his head before continuing. “It felt like a game, almost. And I won, and I should be happy, but...I’m not?”“Are you unhappy in your relationship?”Levi’s head snapped up, and he looked at Lucifer with wide eyes.“No! N-not at all! I’m, like, so happy! That’s part of the problem!”——Based off the idea that the bros can feel it when someone nearby is strongly feeling their sin. Lucifer notices that soon after the beginning of Levi and MC’s relationship, Levi begins skipping meals. He takes it upon himself to investigate.
Relationships: Levi | Leviathan/Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Leviathan/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 137





	Suffocating

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AllegroCrescendo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllegroCrescendo/gifts).



> This is part one of an eight part gift for my friend Punk for a Yowamushi Pedal Valentine’s Day gift exchange! This part has nothing to do with YWPD or any of the other parts, so it’s totally safe for non-ywpd people to read, don’t worry.
> 
> Ily Punk! <3
> 
> And I hope everyone else enjoys, let me know if I need to add any other tags!

Lucifer knew it was going to happen. He had a feeling the rest of his brothers did too, with the exception of Levi. So when he and MC walked into dinner one evening, hands entwined, nobody was particularly surprised. Levi’s face was bright red, but MC looked as though they were walking on air. It was a good look on them, and it only made Lucifer’s heart ache a little bit.

All throughout dinner, Lucifer waited. He waited for the laugh or joke or flush of the cheeks that would make one of his brothers snap with jealousy. Every time MC nudged Levi or poked his cheek, Lucifer tensed the slightest bit.

But nothing ever happened.

His brothers all seemed to have come to an unspoken conclusion. Levi and MC’s relationship was a good thing not to be messed with, despite how hurt he knew some of his brothers surely were. They kept up their facades well; Lucifer was sure that MC never caught a glimpse of the way Mammon’s hand clenched into a fist under the table. They never noticed Satan tapping his fingers against his thigh, or Belphegor squeezing his pillow, nails tearing through the fabric. Asmodeus and Beelzebub seemed much less affected. They had no trouble keeping up their usual banter with MC, who spent the entire dinner absolutely glowing.

Leviathan was a different case.

When he had first entered the dining hall with MC, he merely looked embarrassed. Lucifer attributed it to the hand-holding, which was a huge act of PDA for Levi. However, the longer Levi sat in his chair, the more he began to fidget. It wasn’t long before he was staring off into space, looking increasingly uncomfortable.

“I can’t believe none of you have seen the latest Majolish issue!” Asmo waved his fork around.

Satan sighed. “You say that every week.”

“This is a special case,” Asmo argued. “I bet Levi has seen it — it featured a cosplayer who handmakes really elaborate costumes from TSL. It isn’t the kind of thing they usually include, but it was so interesting, even for normal people!”

“By which you mean, ‘people who aren’t nerds.’”

“Exactly!”

Asmo looked towards Levi and waved a hand in front of his face. “Levi, did you even hear me?”

Levi didn’t react, and Satan frowned.

“He doesn’t look great.”

“Hey, Levi.” It was the first time Mammon had spoken since dinner began, and the tightness in his voice was barely noticeable. “How late didja stay up last night?”

“He didn’t,” MC said. “I spent the night in his room and we went to bed pretty early. I think all of the emotions he went through at once when I confessed tired him out.”

Spending the night in someone else’s room was typically not allowed, and Lucifer opened his mouth to say so, but Levi was faster. He shoved his chair away from the table and was racing out of the room before Lucifer could say the first word. The room was silent, and the brothers stared after him.

The tension was almost oppressing until the sound of Levi’s plate sliding towards Beel broke it.

MC jumped up and raced after Levi, and the discomfort was suddenly replaced by relief. With both halves of the couple gone, each brother dropped their act at once. Mammon scowled at his plate and pushed his food around. Satan pushed his plate towards Beel, who busied himself with finishing his two new plates of food.

“Do you guys think he was too embarrassed about MC staying in his room last night?” Beel asked through a mouthful of food.

“Please swallow before you speak,” Lucifer said.

“Who cares about Beel being gross!” Asmo‘s eyes were wide. “Do you think they did something last night?”

“Asmodeus,” Lucifer warned.

“Do you think he would have been embarrassed enough to run out of the room if they _didn’t_ do something?”

“It’s Levi,” Satan pointed out. “He looked like he was going to bolt just from the hand-holding.”

“But he didn’t!” Asmo threw his hands up. “Don’t get mad at me for pointing out the obvious. I’m just saying...Levi spends a lot of time on the internet. I’m sure he knows a thing or two _in bed_. And if not, maybe he learned last night.”

Three things happened at once.

“ _Asmodeus!”_ Lucifer snapped. Simultaneously, Mammon jumped towards Asmo with fire in his eyes, and Belphegor cursed and slammed a fist against the table, standing to leave. He stalked out of the room as Mammon and Asmodeus rolled around on the floor together, hurling insults. Satan sighed and began gathering the dishes. Plate empty, Beel was gone, probably to chase after Belphegor.

Lucifer rubbed his temples.

* * *

After the previous night’s outburst, Lucifer wasn’t surprised to see Levi’s chair remain empty that morning.

Generally, it wasn’t uncommon for Levi to skip breakfast. Anime marathons would run long and he would oversleep. Occasionally the marathon would even last throughout breakfast. It annoyed Lucifer, but as long as Levi kept his grades up, he was willing to let it go. Because these were extenuating circumstances, he was even willing to let Levi skip dinner that same day; however, when his chair was still empty for both meals the following day, Lucifer resigned himself to making sure his brother didn’t starve to death.

He didn’t like pulling out his D.D.D. during mealtimes. It was something he often scolded his brothers for. It was impolite, and he preferred to listen to his brothers’ conversations and hear about their day. He doubted that he had ever outright said it, but mealtimes were his favorite times of the day. It was usually the only time he saw all of his brothers together, and when they weren’t up to trouble, it was generally nice.

Unfortunately, this was a special circumstance, and his brothers were too busy bickering to notice Lucifer breaking his own rule.

_Hello. Are you going to be joining us for dinner? I will save you a plate if you are running late._

He put his D.D.D. down after sending the message and didn’t look at it again until five minutes had passed. His notifications remained empty, although the message had been read. At the very least, he expected a “No thank you,” or something of the sort.

_Which piece of media has consumed you?_

Lucifer had a feeling that Levi wasn’t skipping meals for entertainment this time, but he hoped an invitation to talk about his interests would bait Levi into responding. Despite his efforts, five minutes once again passed with no response.

_Are you feeling unwell?_

This time, Lucifer didn’t take his eyes off of the screen. The message was read immediately and the typing bubble popped up and disappeared multiple times before his D.D.D. buzzed lightly as a new message popped up.

_Kind of,_ Levi said.

_Do you require medication?_

_No._

_Do you require my presence?_

The typing bubble popped up right as Beel’s hand snaked his way into Lucifer’s line of sight. He lightly smacked it away from his plate and took the final bite that Beel had been aiming for.

Asmo snapped his fingers. “Oh, so close, Beel!”

Lucifer glanced down at his D.D.D. again. No new messages. With a sigh, he stood and lightly dusted his pants.

“Thank you for dinner, Satan, Asmo,” he said. “Mammon, Beel, remember that it is your turn to do the dishes tonight.”

He ignored Mammon’s complaints as he left. The closer to Levi’s bedroom he got, the quieter the complaints were, until they were gone altogether. Standing outside of Levi’s room, Lucifer listened for any signs of movement. Typically, the sounds of Levi’s keyboard or television could be heard with accompanying yells. Now, there was only silence.

Lucifer knocked on the door. Levi stayed silent, and Lucifer began to feel annoyed.

He rarely ever set foot into Levi’s room. Levi liked to have his privacy, and Lucifer was willing to grant it to him, provided he wasn’t causing any trouble. Now, however, Lucifer was taking time out of his schedule to assist his brother, who wouldn’t even respond.

“If you don’t say anything, I’m going to come in,” he warned.

There was some slight rustling from behind the door. Then, Levi spoke, albeit quietly.

“...It’s locked.”

Lucifer sighed.

“Will you come unlock it?”

The silent treatment began again, so Lucifer sighed once more and unlocked it with a quick spell. The door swung open, and he let himself in, shutting and locking it behind him.

“I knew you were going to do that,” Levi grumbled from his bed. Lucifer chuckled as he wheeled Levi’s desk chair next to the bathtub and lowered the seat. It was still far too tall to have a proper discussion, but it would have to do.

“I presume that’s why you didn’t unlock it, then.”

The two settled into a comfortable silence. Lucifer took this time to look around Levi’s room. Blue being one of his favorite colors, he could appreciate some aspects of it; however, the posters and figurines clashed with the rest of the decor, and the bathtub for a bed was a choice that he never quite understood.

Levi was in that bathtub, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. His expression was a little tense, as though he were waiting for Lucifer to say something.

“You said you were unwell,” is what Lucifer eventually settled on.

Levi’s face shifted, but Lucifer couldn’t quite place which emotion it had settled on. It looked to be a mixture of embarrassment and confusion, but there was something else that eluded him.

“Not...really. Only kind of. Just…”

“A little bit,” Lucifer filled in with a small smile. Levi looked over and groaned.

  
“You don’t have to make fun of me,” he said. He faced the ceiling again. “I know I’m bad at explaining...things. Feelings.”

“I was not making fun of you,” Lucifer said. “I was merely offering a suggestion.”

Lucifer leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. He clasped his hands together.

“May I ask why you’ve been missing meals?”

For a moment, Levi pulled the same face that the rest of the brothers did when Lucifer started a sentence with “May I ask.” A combination of amusement and annoyance, because they all knew that it was less of a request and more of a demand. Then he simply appeared to be massively uncomfortable, as though he didn’t wish to discuss it. Lucifer could tell that he was biting the inside of his cheek. It took approximately three minutes for Levi to respond, but Lucifer had however much time Levi needed from him.

“It’s all just so...overwhelming.”

Lucifer felt a sudden boost of confidence. If this was the only problem, it could easily be fixed. Large crowds had always been bad for Leviathan, with some exceptions. A distraction from the crowd usually solved things, so Levi would simply be permitted to wear his headphones during meals. It was inconvenient, but Lucifer would consider it a temporary solution while they discussed more permanent ones.

Although...

“I was under the impression that larger crowds were what bothered you,” Lucifer said. He pulled out his D.D.D. to make a note. “If seven people are too much now, especially the ones you live with, we’ll have to get you seeing someone. I can—”

“No! Not like that! I’m not _anxious,_ I’m just…” Levi sat up straight, his legs splayed out in front of him. He balled part of his blanket in his fists.

Lucifer nodded in understanding. “I see. Then, your relationship is overwhelming. It’s understandable, given that it’s your first one, but —“

Levi groaned. “It’s not me, it’s everyone else! They’re all so jealous!”

Ah.

“Ever since MC and I started dating, every time I sit next to them or talk to them, all I can feel is everyone else’s envy, and it’s suffocating! It’s just...it’s so thick, and I can’t stand it! Even—” Levi cut himself off, but Lucifer knew what went unspoken.

_Even you._

“Hm. That’s certainly a predicament,” Lucifer said.

“A predicament,” Levi scoffed. He turned his head to look at the aquarium. “My life is over, and he says it’s ‘a predicament,’ Henry.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure Henry would agree that you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“You don’t understand,” Levi said. He looked up at Lucifer, who only noticed now how tired his brother appeared. It was as though he wasn’t getting any rest, despite being in his room for two days. “It’s _so_ thick. I can barely think, it gives me a headache, and what if they hate me?”

“Did anybody tell you that they hate you?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Then perhaps we are catastrophizing again?”

Levi stayed silent as he turned this idea over in his head. Lucifer took this time to admire the ceiling. The moving water pattern was something that Levi most likely spent a lot of time watching. Lucifer wondered how many of Levi’s nights were spent staring at it as he worked himself into an anxiety loop. He wondered how many more would be.

“I don’t think so,” Levi said. “Not this time.”

“Okay,” Lucifer said, returning his undivided attention to Levi. “Tell me why.”

“Do you...do you remember that one time Asmo and Mammon wanted to buy the same bag, but there was only one in stock?”

“Vaguely.”

“Mammon wanted it to resell and Asmo wanted it because it was cute and you said that if they couldn’t agree on who could have it, neither one of them was allowed to have it.”

Lucifer could see where this was going, but he let Levi carry on.

“I feel like...I knew how much everyone else liked MC, and I took them anyway. I thought that once we started...” Levi’s face turned red, and he shook his head before continuing. “It felt like a game, almost. And I won, and I should be happy, but...I’m not?”

“Are you unhappy in your relationship?”

Levi’s head snapped up, and he looked at Lucifer with wide eyes.

“No! N-not at all! I’m, like, _so_ happy! That’s part of the problem!” Levi’s hands moved as he spoke. “Belphie won’t even look at me and Mammon tries to act the same as before, but he’s so bad at it, and I can’t even eat dinner with everyone, and...”

Levi pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them before continuing.

“I feel bad for being so happy when I can _feel_ how unhappy everyone else is. But...I won’t give up MC. I refuse to. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I think I _deserve_ this. I deserve this one good thing that’s happened to me. But, if I won’t give it up, even to make my brothers happy...”

Levi buried his face in his knees.

“Levi—”

He looked up, his eyes full of tears that hadn’t begun to fall yet, and for a moment, Lucifer _forgot._ He forgot that this was Leviathan, Avatar of Envy, Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy. He forgot that Leviathan was powerful, strong enough to summon Lotan on a whim. All he could see was Levi. Levi, who only managed to endure the crowds at concerts by focusing solely on the stage. Levi, who once threw up from nerves about giving a speech to a class. Levi, who celebrated when games allowed him to pet the dog.

Levi. His younger brother.

And then he blinked, and he remembered.

“Lucifer?”

“Yes?”

Levi took a shaky breath in.

“Am I a bad brother?”

His voice cracked on the last word, and that’s when the tears started to fall, and that’s when Lucifer knew this wasn’t going to be a problem he could solve in one night.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “A bad brother wouldn’t keep loaning Mammon money, even when he knows he probably won’t see it again.”

Levi sniffled.

“A bad brother,” Lucifer continued, “wouldn’t sit in the same spot for four hours because Belphegor had fallen asleep on him.”

“I had my D.D.D., so it wasn’t that bad,” Levi mumbled.

“A bad brother wouldn’t model different dresses to see how they would look with different accessories for Asmo.”

“I guess,” Levi said with the faintest smile.

“A bad brother wouldn’t let Beel use him as a weight to benchpress.”

Levi laughed, and Lucifer considered it a small victory.

“Okay, I get it,” he said, and then the smile faded from his face. “But...that doesn’t mean Belphie doesn’t hate me _now_.”

Lucifer considered this for a moment.

“Perhaps the reason he is avoiding you is _because_ he doesn’t hate you,” he said.

Levi drew his eyebrows together and scrunched his nose. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s possible that he’s trying to prevent you from feeling how envious he is.” Lucifer tapped his chin. “I would bet that he’s just as worried about you hating him as you are of him hating you.”

“But why would I hate Belphie?”

“He probably believes you’ll be angry at him for being envious of your and MC’s relationship. It might be worth discussing with him.”

Levi stayed silent.

Lucifer slid off of the chair and landed on his knees to be at eye-level with Levi. He was still sitting with his knees up, his arms wrapped loosely around his legs. The tears had stopped, but he still looked fragile. Lucifer considered his next words carefully.

“Whenever you show MC a video on your phone, or post a photo with them, or walk to school with them, _you_ feel your brothers’ envy,” Lucifer began. Levi tensed. “But at the same time, _I_ feel their pride.”

“Their...what?”

“Their pride,” Lucifer reiterated. Levi stared at him, dumbfounded. “This is complicated for each of them. They all wanted to be the one that MC chose. Despite that, it’s obvious how much you’ve improved since meeting them.”

“I...I don’t…”

“You’ve grown more confident,” Lucifer said. “You leave your room more often to go on outings with them. I knew whenever you posted a photo of yourself with them onto Devilgram because everyone in the House of Lamentation had a surge of pride around the same time.”

Levi’s face was bright red. Lucifer could tell despite the knees that were covering it.

“You have to be patient with them,” Lucifer said. “They’re going to continue to be envious for some time. But they will also be proud. Eventually, the pride is going to overtake the envy. In the meantime, we can seek out options to help you cope so that you may return to dinner with us, of course.”

“I don’t know...I don’t know if I deserve that,” Levi said. “Would it be easier for everyone if I just stayed away?”

“In the moment, yes. However, it will be more beneficial in the long term if they are able to get used to being around you and MC together.”

Lucifer looked around at the dishes cluttering Levi’s room.

“Additionally, I imagine it will be beneficial for you to be able to eat during actual meal times instead of sneaking food into your room while the House sleeps.”

Levi’s face turned a little red, and he looked away.

“Well…”

Lucifer stood and replaced the desk chair where it belonged.

“Talk to Belphegor and Mammon. It will help. Wear your headphones to breakfast tomorrow and inform me as to whether or not it helps. MC has been worried without you at meals.”

Levi perked up. “MC is worried?”

Lucifer walked to the door and unlocked it. “Of course they are.” The door swung open. “Mammon is most likely still doing the dishes. If you’re able to get yours into the sink before he finishes the rest, you can make him wash them for you. Otherwise, you will have to wash them yourself tonight.”

He turned and looked at Levi, who was still in the bathtub.

“I believe he is nearly done, Leviathan.”

“ _W-wait!”_ Levi scrambled out of the bathtub and launched himself across the room towards the dishes, cursing as Lucifer shut his door.

As he was walking to his office, Levi raced past him, arms full of dishes.

It didn’t take long for Mammon’s shouts to sound from down the hall, and Levi’s responding shouts were somehow a comfort to hear. It was a sign that things would be back to normal soon.

That is, until the sound of a plate shattering rang throughout the hall.

“... _Shit,”_ Mammon and Levi said simultaneously.

Lucifer sighed and turned around.

Perhaps things were going to go back to normal a little _too_ soon.


End file.
